weird stuff

What is this that I feel? My heart flutters and my mind blanks out whenever I catch just a glimpse of her. What more could happen to me when she’s just inches away from me? This hard pounding in my chest could burst anytime. It’s driving me crazy. Oh, what would happen if she knew all of these things? Would she be happy if she that... if she knew that I have feelings of love for her?

Would she be happy to know who I really am? Would she accept me for who I am? No, I don’t think she would. I have seen blood from every time I accomplish my mission. These hands of mine meant to hold her with love and understanding has been tainted with guilt, sin and hatred. Yes, I know that she cannot accept me for my work, for the things that I have done, for the lies that I made out of love for her, for my painful past. She will hate me, curse me, and feel indifferent against me if she knew who I really am.

But I still love her. Nothing will change. I love her. I love her so much. I simply cannot change the will of my heart. She will remain inside me for eternity.

~***~

How tragic love can be...